Waiting

Waiting....we've been here before. Something that has become very familiar in our growing family. And quite frankly it's not my favorite thing in the world to do since patience is not one of my strongest characteristics.  Back track eight years ago to the year 2005. We waited 9 months to meet our first handsome son, Kaiden. I remember going through the pregnancy thinking when is he going to get here!? The day he was born was so beautiful. He was finally here. All that waiting, worry, and unknown went away. And then came Keegan our second...and Keane our third. The waiting for these two extended past their due dates and made this mama think they would never get here.  And again all that waiting, worry, and unknown left my mind the moment I looked into their handsome little faces.

And then came our fourth son...,8 month old baby Marc, who we are still waiting to meet one day. Baby Marc came into our lives as a precious gift from God.  I specifically remember getting the call from our caseworker giving us the good news that we were able to move forward with the process to bring him home. Running down to the park to tell my husband as we both stared at his picture.  Full cheeks, soft curls, and a little brown tank top that sported "surf competition."  For 30 days we prayed for and stared at his sweet little chubby cheeks.  I would daydream about what life would be like with this sweet baby in it. On the beach with his brothers or holding him as he fell asleep. And then as soon as he was ours he was gone. We received a phone call. Marc died from malaria.  And it's taken me a while to process his loss and come to the understanding that baby Marc was never really ours just like none of our boys are. He is God's first. And God took him home. And we have a hope and their is truth that we will get to finally meet him one day. But until then..we are still waiting.

And then came Kainoa Seraphin. We waited 12 months for Kai to come home. Which I suppose in the international adoption world is on the faster side. We received his referral on July 4th and he was forever ours on Feb 7th, 2013. The wait for Kai was hard. Really hard. We weren't sure if he was actually ever coming home.  DRC started changing adoption laws during our process. We clearly did not have money growing on trees to cover adoption fees.  And towards the end Kai's medical was unknown. There was so much waiting, worry, and unknown. And when I held him in my arms in the airport in San Juan, Puerto Rico for the first time ever I forgot how stinkin hard it was to bring him home. Every single struggle and worry left my head because I was finally holding my son.

And now here we are again. Waiting....for two little ones joining our family through adoption from foster care.  This has been a wait different then any other. As we have no idea the day, time, age, boy and a girl, two girls???? Who will join our family or for how long. If we will even be able to adopt them or if they will go back to their birth families. So MUCH unknown.  I find comfort in the fact that God knows the unknown. He's walked the path before me. He knows the exact day, time, hour, and names of these two little ones. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13 
 A friend who is going through the same process, and I, were discussing how amazing it is that God already knows the exact children that will be placed in our families. He created them and has a plan for them.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
Jeremiah 29:11
And I know that day we can finally hold you in our arms will be one happy day in the Cameron family. Until that day...we wait.

****In the next couple of months we will be finishing the last step in our process of becoming a certified foster/adoptive family and we look forward to holding two little ones in our arms this summer*****